Your article was a big help for me to understand more on this whole texting and dating thing going on. He was also always the one to start the conversation, but i would make sure to text him sometimes first as well. Its only been a few days, but my second thought was, I wonder what Bobbi has to say about this texting thing? Anyway, I wont sit around waiting and its good to know whom to take seriously and whom to not! Just make sure you do it the REAL way by spending time with him and talking. Two weeks later he texted me, apologizing and asked if I was available some time as he would be back soon. If you have been texting him and he merely responds with a polite text back, but doesnt ask you out, then you have your answer. Because you're learn why men DO feel like they have to pull away even after he tells you he likes you. Now he DOES want to have kids with me. Thanks for getting together with me, hope we can do something less explosive next time (other than shooting). That can be a fun part of a relationship thats developing nicely. Good for you, Amelia. But heres whats most important: remember that you Dont Know Him. I agree. I dont want to talk again. Bp. Hi Cindy. Don't kid yourself or make excuses for the guy. (Note we are older I am 64 and he is 69. Thank you for putting this out there, Bobbi! . I've been texting with a man every day for a month. THAT is a huge assumption on your part. Over the past few years it seems that almost every dating dilemma I hear from my coaching clients and girlfriends has something to do with texting. Hed get mad at me for some stupid reason. He travels for work and so do I but at least 1x a week. He wished me the same and said it was fun. Then he asked me my schedule (our schedules were totally incompatible)but said it have to wait until his health is stable. My situation isnt complicated, its just more about being new to the dating game. I hate that rudeness has replaced common sense. Saying he didnt know why it ended is a gigantic one. Bp. Soon as we decided we were finally going out, she got worse with responding. Bp. But also continue to do what you did: let him know what you need. We have been texting for exactly a month now, His behaviour hasnt really improved now he goes days off radarunless were talking in a sexual sensemost if his txts are a few wordsso just recently I had it out with him more or less sayingchoose which way you want us to go end things or work things out he chose and said I want to make a go of things with you but Im afraid to get hurt if its not HELP!!! Or, just looking for a friend? I wanted to talk about it on the phone but he wouldnt. I get kids interfere, your career is important too. I do want to see what his personality is like (i have seen him before but never spoken to him). He is very sweet, polite, and nerdy. But too darn bad. I saw the communication started tapering off on his end so I wrote him a letter explaining what I wanted at this point in my life and how I felt if he wasnt interested no problem lets just say that and move on. You get to make your decisions about your sex life. Talked about how great of a time we had. Their responses are shorter and less enthusiastic. Wee have done this for a little over a month. Most have nothing to do with you. They get your number and majority of them do no not know how to have a conversation. He knows about my life.He is very busy in his work and he usually doesnt reply to all my text though. We shared everything , or so I thought. I did not reply to him immediately. What could potentially be going on with this one ? And we started to chat on whatapp. Dont spend any more time or energy, ok? He would text me saying "good morning" and "good night." We'd talk all day long about random things, and sometimes we would flirt or sext. He even said he was missing me. I napped after work too and was wide awake. Try my texting routine I posted up at Meet & Attract Him BEFORE you get too worried and start doing things that will only push him further away or cause more of his silence: Reveal How He Feels With Two Quick Text Messages. I married for 14 years and decided to check whats out there before i ruin that what I have. Im almost sure there is a plethora or at least (another one) of woman chatting with him. Ive found that I am simply not good at the texting game, and have learned messages can so be misconstrued when using this medium. What should I think? Thats way more fun! He responded and said that he thought I lost interest. There are clear signs when he IS into you (Want to learn more about how to know when a man is really interested? But now he wont see me it all and if he ever does decide he wants to do something and I tell him I have plans (which could be simply with the kids) he will just lol and disappear or make me feel guilty. Hi I started txting with a guy i saw on a dating site last yearwe txtd for about 3 monthswhilst the texting was good and became really very sexual which Im not gonna lie I really enjoyed as I have been single for several years. I kept sending a message per week. Hes blatantly not doing it. Tell them what you told me because youre right: Theres no substitute for an in-person date. Bp, I been dating this guy for over two weeks and hes and nice guy and things seemed good with us we had plans for this weekend but he had to work but he hasnt text me back yet now I am not sure what to do. Only give him a couple hours of your time before the first meeting. Hes just a text buddy. Now. I checked in on him 2 days later and he responded telling me he was getting better and how grateful he was of my thoughtfulness. I am married and my husband left in August of 2016, came back in May 2017 and left again in December 2017 by mutual agreement. Confusing, Tonya, seems to me that its time to start depending on yourself instead of men. He told me he didnt mean to be rude. He comes to you. We ended up spending the night together and in the morning he said hed reach out when he was back from his trip. Yes, have a grownup conversation with him. If hes interested he will get in touch. His confidence in taking things to the next level is not there and he feels like he'll only screw it up. The what turns me on and statements about thing the things he wants to do to me and if that turns me on was surprising, and maybe hes just being honest and open with me because we have been talking for a few weeks now. Anyhow, I met someone little bit over a year ago. IF this was a text-only relationship EXPECT things like this to happen because you can not make a REAL connection with a man by just messaging back and forth. He shares pics with me. He doesnt call, just text. He didnt show any disappointment. The second time we set up to meet I went and bought a dress , shoes, nails etc. His response was short nice. Now still just texts. Jennifer, I have to be honest: I did not read your entire comment. I need to somehow find out if he even cares to have a relationship with me its almost been a year . So met this woman online, we exchange few emails and at about the same time I was to go away for a week and told her when I get back we can plan to meet. I met this guy on the dreadful Tinder (which i pay for Eharmony and Match but never find anyone I can connect with on those sites which is frustrating to say the least). If not exactly where youre going, get the time and date. I havent been asked out in 5 years and it felt like fate had thrown me a good guy who was single, no kids and lots in common He then started texting every morning with hi beautiful and general chit chat for a few days. But after we started dating, I noticed that he was much busier than before, not much texting even when on breaks. But three days is not a long time. I really dont know what to think of it. Ive never been in an LDR before and I told him I didnt know how it works. Why should I have to carry the cell phone around my house just in case? I was caught off guard and things have gone downhill since. When you stop texting to see what he does, you have nothing to lose. Theres no way around it there was zero physical anything when it came to me talking to this guy in Europe. We like each other and plan to meet. So keep your feet on the ground. Hi Any advice? Was i supposed to suggest a time or say something about let me know when you are free????? The key, as the experts say, is that if you're concerned go straight to the source and talk to them about how you are feeling. Ask him. He will not see me in person. Do that, and watch what he does next. Why is it so hard to walk away? The next day he said he was sorry and that he got caught up at his parents house ( they live in my town) and he was beating himself up because hes let me down twice. I have no idea other than he said his ex wife is giving him grief and he is stressed. Having not even met this person, I could still feel it from miles away. And now its all just good morning gorgeous or doll with but he doesnt ask me anything about myself and I have asked him plenty of stuff about him . Im fine with that, we both lead busy lives and Im not wanting to rush into a full on relationship but at the same time I want to know Im in it with someone who wants to be in it with me for the right reasons. We got back together after his 500 mile hike; he rented a car and drove a coupla hundred miles out of his way, exhausted, to see me rather than to his town. NO! If hes not putting in effortand you read the articleI think you know the answer, Sarah. So while dating I only can meet up in my childless week. Move on and find a man who recognizes your wonderful-ness. We had talked on the phone only 4 different times , he said he loved my voice but later told me he did not like to talk on the phone so we did not. Today was the first day during a work week he has not sent a text about being off work. There is definitely sleeping with him too early. Thank you!, Get A Closer Peek Into The Two Types of Guys. Its made me feel a little crap because he never actually gave me the time of day in the end to meet me and then throws in the lets be friends to maybe keep me on the wings as a just in case option??. Ive seen countless women create completefantasies and get drawn in often before they even meet a man. I met a man a month ago who lives in Colorado; l live in Florida. You went "all the way." (I'm presuming it was at sock-hop in 1952? I recommend that let him know that if he feels he is stable and still wanting to explore getting to know your to get in touch. He said he is planning to come here and we could meet up. He apologized and said he went straight to sleep after work, and said that was not him who honked. We met online, he's a young professional, everything's he's told me checks out (I've googled liked crazy), we connect so well, texts are flirty, we exchange pictures, and it's been going on for 2 months. That means you need to let him know your level of interest and see if hes on the same page. I had gone across the street to meet my friend at a bar for dinner/drinks. Next! And I love your idea about using it for flirting, encouraging, etc. Maybe this is the exception but you know what this says: texting is not dating or a relationship. Mirror his texting habits. As important as you may be to that person youre texting, there will be a time when life gets in the way of texting. He went on vacay and told me he'd be bringing me back a gift. Learn the insight & ability to detect if hes for real, using you for sex, a player, a good guy, or one of those rare REAL man you DO want. Felt so dumb. Life goes on. Ive waited for months to see what he looks like and actually told him this morning that I would really like an updated picture of him so that I can put a face to our text messages. Let me show you how and why too. Few days ago, same pattern happened again: less texts and then he has stopped. And when we meet he is always really affectionate with me even in front of people but via text he act like he doesnt care. I was honest and open with him right from the start. The last time we worked with each other a guy came up to me telling me how much the guy likes me, I was feeling quite good. I think I answer this in the article, right? if hes not or cant say what he wants, move on. Ive been texting a guy since March. I dont know enough to know if youre wasting your time, Laurie, but I DO know that you have some unrealistic expectations. Then he suggested WhatsApp so we can send pictures again alarm bells but he assured me he just wanted to send pictures of his projects he worked on so I agreed. Doesnt really matter whats going on with him. There are tons more where he came from. Weve been communicating for almost a month now. He said I thought you did not want to talk to me anymore. What should I do? I did stay the night with her. Im confused at his signals. He got back to me after one year, got upset when he had the feeling I wouldnt wanna hang out, but got silent and kind of indifferent while he was gone. We are still in the beginning stages, so I dont know how often I should expect to hear from him, and I know he is busy. Bp. We shared goals. whos Lauren? I hope you decide to move on to a man who actually shows up for you. (If not, that is fine too hah). He sounds like youre being pinged. Give this a read: https://datelikeagrownup.com/why-does-he-keep-disappearing/ Bp. Best. Bp. Deep eye contact, etc. Then he suggested meeting for one day and if we get on have a weekend away. Thats exactly how to do it, Yvette. Your beginning and end are all I need. When he is with me, I am treated like a queen and he seems very grateful for anything I do for him. He is not ever going to meet me is he? It sounded like a classic rebound but as I kind of liked him and had no expectations I decided to meet him. (Van is my friends friend and maybe he didnt think that I and Van know each other because were not friends on facebook so he didnt hide that posts from Van) Far better to use your senses and physical body to connect : ). I also worry about him being scammed. But like I advise in all my writing, just keep living your life instead of hanging on what one guy does. We agreed to a 2nd date two weeks ago and have spoke about it but he couldnt give me a date he is coming over. Things have changed. He is 57 and I am 55, until now I dont know if I believe him, but once he called spend 1 to 2 hours just talking everyday 2 times a day. Hugged her again and really cant stop thinking about her. We had a nice lunch, it seemed like she had a good time. Even when hes at work the texting doesnt stop. step back from this and look at how you (mis)connected with this guy. Bp. The day before he cancelled, via text, I texted an invite to a baseball gamealthough his work schedule (he gave me) showed he was working. Out of the door I took his hand and told him I thought he is kind of cute. I send more texts, sometimes playful but not sexting. We have spoken on the phone twice, but we both seem reluctant to do that again. About 3 months ago, guy from dating app messaged me and I messaged back. Too much interaction too soon can set expectations too high. Dont answer. All I have to read is that you started with dirty texting. Best to you. I know my advice is for women but almost 100% of it applies to you too. I think you know the answer. Ill keep being real if you keep coming by and tell your friends about it. We both have careers that keep us busy but im making time to fit him in and I want the same from him. He was really sweet. I met a lovely guy before lockdown. I find even at my age(57), its a constant and ongoing barrier to finding an adult male. No response from him. Bp, 1. I called my friend to vent my frustrations and she told him to leave me alone. The last almost week now he has been more sporadic with his texts and I dont know if hes lost interest or if hes just busy. True to his claim, the texts was much better. Here is an article I wrote that should help. I want to know if this is good mirroring or too much. Great website & podcasts with a lot of advice. Ive made it clear from day 1 that I wanted someone that I could date and eventually be in a relationship with. Just dont know if hes being serious. The best thing you can do to get information is to ask for it. What I would say is that texting is not relating. He walked me to my car, gave me a long hug, along with a couple of sweet innocent kisses, but then said, Ill be in touch.. Does he think Im only hes fuck buddy? I didnt hear from him for almost a week and then he sent me a message asking if I forgot him. I had posted a selfie on Facebook and an old guy friend back from my teen days saw it and liked it, the he sent a friend request. So I went on with my life and yep Runner came running back. You smartly claimed your boundary and maybe by now, youve heard from him. You likely like the fantasy of him that you have created. Who knows. He seems like a really cool person and we have a lot in common. Anita Chlipala, licensed marriage and family therapist and author of First Comes Us: The Busy Couple's Guide to Lasting Love, Brenda Della Casa, relationship coach and author of Cinderella Was a Liar, Diana Dorell, intuitive dating coach and author of The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again, Maria Avgitidis, CEO of matchmaking service Agape Match and host of the dating podcast Ask A Matchmaker. Move on. What does that mean exactly? Sounds to me like youre hanging your hat on some guy you hardly know, Sarac. Time to move on and direct your energy to someone who you can enjoy time with. He has taken time to his office, to the park where he runs. This man has texted the sweetest things, but, given we live 1 hour and 20 minutes apart, I would think hed want to call once in a while. He used to respond to all your texts, but now he replies only a couple times a week. Little did I know I would be embarking upon a 10-month journey..without ever actually leaving home. I am a fool. I thought we clicked but the next day he never texted, that night he posted on Facebook his cell stopped working and thats why he couldnt contact anyone But today I messaged him a happy new year, he replied it back but thats it No personal message. Wish him good luck and tell him to break free. But you may never know why. Only calls and dates. Not on your phone or your computer. Nor can you. THAT is where decisions will be made about whether each of you wants to get together again. How are you doing? Move on. . Told him that he did not have to string me along if he isnt interested. Enjoy!! Texted near daily for another week. The texting was good after, but he didnt call and for the past week or so, the texting has fallen off more. Texted a little Saturday but never heard back about today. He also mentioned that I should not fall in love too soon or get emotional with him although both of us are looking for something similar in life .. Should I ask him what he really wants or just move on silently hoping he comes back one day. Im curious and Im appalled at myself all at the same time. Your input is appreciated THX , EllieI have two major tips: I stopped asking to see him. We spent a lot of time together but it was too soon after hed broken up with his ex. If you have strict rules like the ones you have around texting, youd be doing a kindness by letting men know your expectations and preferences. We have met once and got on great. I think you know the answer. Was that my cue to suggest a time to meet when I run? I cherish you with all of my heart my mind my body and soul loves you. Hi Maria, Youve asked very directly for what you want, which is 100% reasonable. Other times he is very bland. I met a guy on Twitter. Im sure you know what it is. You never know what came up in his life. Because both of us work, the times we get together are sometimes weeks apart But keeping in touch daily seems to be moving the relationship forward. For me he just blew it why would he even suggest a weekend away. He said I dont know I like you a lot. Bp. Voice calls are overrated, especially in the very beginning of a relationship or before the first date: awkward silences, both people wondering who should end the call first and when, figuring out how often to call, when to call back, what to say. we said we missed each other. Had a blast. He then started a full-time job and became a little busier. You never know what can turn out! I have said about him sending me some recent pictures, he says yes and then doesnt. What I recommend is that you try your best to limit texting until youve had at least a couple live dates and youve gotten to know some important things about him. Up until this summer, he was engaged. He looked very gentle and respectful and said he has fostered kids many times. We went on a few dates and everything was moving along nicely. Next! I dont know why he keeps texting me or what he wants. Id ask him by calling not texting. Bp. I like a male acquaintance. Most of my phone conversations are in the car, as Im driving my 45 minutes to or from work. Again I didnt answer that one because he quickly text something else which I answered. However, if the slowed texting is part of a larger trend, then there may be a cause for concern, warns Della Casa. He says he likes me and wants to get to know me better but hasnt taken the time to see mewhat are you thoughts on this situation? Sorry, I dont know. Should I just ignore him and get over with it? The magic came from sharing values, sharing vibes, sharing energy. He was, opposed to the year before, talkative and interested and I enjoyed conversation with him. Now I am still wondering. He went on vacation and still kept in contact, Either by text or even calling me and showing me his vacation spot. Last month he ran hot and cold and did not texted less frequently and I caught him in some lies. You can ask for a second one, its not wrong just dont over push your boundary. Hi Cassandra, Dont wait At All! There are some people who dont immediately proffer a date until they feel comfortable with the person theyre speaking to. If you push him you can be pretty sure he wont be back in touch. Get away from this man. again happy to leave it there. Now its Saturday, and since I dont know of the details and since we agreed to do something, I wanted to know what the pick-up meet time is. I'd do that all over again. I apologize if u feel like I was hearing u but not listening when I kept trying to invite u to hang out and u kept telling me ur not up to it. I met this guy online a few months ago. At this time in life there ought not be games, inconsistency and questions. This call was not totally out of my comfort zone, as we grew up talking to each . We've been texting for about 3 months, how do i bring up i want to hang out? Considering it's an investment that COULD result in hot sex, it's a pretty valuable use of a dude's time. Oh goshso I would let him know when he texts that you enjoy hearing from him and really look forward to spending time with him again. But the tone has just changed and its been consistent for almost a fortnight. Fast! Bp. We met Oh please stop waiting. By the 3rd date he shared personal stuff with me. Set your boundaries and stick to them. This last time in April told me he didnt have time for a relationship because his Father was sick. Bp, I met this guy on POF he just move back in town near me hes not working dont have a car barely have anyone to stay everytime we talk on the phone hes always saying look things like Im hungry.he is a very nice guy show I give him time to get on hes feet if so how much time you should I stay or walk away he is scare of falling in love again because he been hurt really bad, Kid, does this sound like the type of man you want to have a relationship with?